If you snap your muscles, you look awkward. But just as you look and feel if your muscles relax. It is a lesson learned by an influencer and revealed how it influenced her life.

“From the second year on, my self-esteem influenced my flat belly. I would walk around pointing my muscles, revealing photos where my stomach looks crammed and killing my diets and exercising to fit my body, “wrote Russian Mary Jelkovsky with a photo that compared her appearance two years ago today.

View this post on Instagram

When I was little, my grandma used to poke my tummy and constantly remind me to suck it in. In Russian (my mother tongue) she’d say, «Всегда надо втягивать живот чтоб не торчал» 🙄 This habit was engrained into me so deeply that I’m STILL learning how to relax my belly (yoga has been helping me breathe deeper into my belly by allowing it to relax 🧘‍♀️) From the time I was very little until 2 years ago, my #selfconfidence was attached to how flat my midsection was… I’d walk around with my abs flexed, only post photos where my stomach looked slender and killed myself with diet and exercise to have that “fit” body. If I didn’t like how I looked in the morning my whole day was RUINED. I wouldn’t socialize, I’d restrict my food, or I’d just binge because “fuck it, I look like 💩 anyways might as well feel like it too!” Have you ever allowed one bad thought about your body run your day? Flash forward to now: I don’t let my body-IMAGE get in the way of my life EXPERIENCE. Yes, there are days where I don’t necessarily like how I look, but I don’t let those interfere with my values. My body is no longer attached to my confidence because they are 2 separate things. ✌️ And you know what helped me realize this? Letting go of society’s expectations of the “perfect body”, gaining some weight, AND realizing that the sky didn’t fall, my friends and family still love me (grandma included 👵), and I can still do amazing things without perfect abs. 💁‍♀️ . . Repeat after me (or type it in the comments): I no longer allow my body-IMAGE get in the way of my life EXPERIENCE. ❤️ And this is one of the main principles in my confidence workbook so if you haven’t gotten it yet, it’s available for you in my bio 💃🏽 . . . . #confidence #selfworth #selfesteem #nowrongway #losehatenotweight #allbodiesaregoodbodies #aeriereal #bodylove #effyourbeautystandards #bodyacceptance

A post shared by Mary Jelkovsky (@maryscupofteaa) on

In the first photo she took her stomach, and in the second pose completely relaxed. He says he learned how to look at the abdomen does not affect her self-confidence.

As she grew up, her grandmother was telling her to pull the belly so she would look slimmer. It would be as quick as her belly seemed to ruin her all day. It was her age to reach a point where her physical appearance did not dictate her life.

View this post on Instagram

They see me rollin’, they hatin’ 🤣 Hehe just interrupting the Insta highlight reel to remind you that most pictures you see on social media are staged, posed and/or edited…even this photo has a filter on it and there are 30+ others from this set that didn’t make it #keepinitreal 🤷‍♀️ I went to San Diego with my girlfriends this weekend and guess who made memories without a flat tummy? Me! 🙋‍♀️ I used to miss out on so many family parties, brunch dates and even dates because my life revolved around food and the gym and if I wasn’t eating or exercising, my thoughts were consumed by what I looked like. 😬 When I finally decided to quit my self-destructive lifestyle, I made myself focus on my body EXPERIENCE rather than my body IMAGE. I’d ask myself questions like… “Would I hate my body if I was stuck on a desert island with no one to compare myself to?” “Do I really ‘feel gross’ after eating or am I feeling nourishment, fullness or maybe physical discomfort that needs to be addressed with compassion?” “What does my body allow me to do, feel and experience in life?” The term “body-image” is a paradox because our bodies are much more than their image… they’re a beautiful, unique experience. 💕 Even now if I’m feeling insecure about my body, I remind myself to not allow my body IMAGE to get in the way of my life EXPERIENCE. ♥️ #MoreThanABody . . I’d love to know, does this resonate with you? Because thinking this way was a game-changer for me! 🙌 . . . . #selflove #selfloveisthebestlove #sandiego #everybodyisabikinibody #nowrongway #honoryourcurves #embraceyourcurves #allbodiesaregoodbodies #selfcaresunday #loveyourself

A post shared by Mary Jelkovsky (@maryscupofteaa) on

Still, he is still not completely immune to negative thoughts.

“Yes, there are times when I do not think about how I look but do not let it affect my values. The sky has not collapsed, my friends and family, including my grandmother, still love me, and I can do incredible things without perfect abdominal muscles, “added the young Russians.

Leave a Reply

Leave a Reply